Sunday, May 24, 2009

6-word novels and a Roald Dahl poem

Some guy wrote a story in six words and people are saying it's his best work. Well, I guess cos he was one of them classical writers then that's understandable - have you seen how much they can rattle on about the most boring little thing???????
Anyway here it is:
For sale: baby shoes, never worn.
-Ernest Hemingway
If you 'look deep' into it and really REALLY critique it and obsessively think about it, then I guess ... BUT WHO ON EARTH WANTS TO DO THAT ABOUT THAT SHORT BORING STORY.
I prefer the ones with humour (most of these are by proper published, even a few big-name authors, btw):
Failed SAT. Lost scholarship. Invented rocket.
-William Shatner
Computer, did we bring batteries? Computer?
-Eileen Gunn
Automobile warranty expires. So does engine.
-Stan Lee
(Ain't that always the way)
Longed for him. Got him. Help.
-Margaret Atwood
Machine. Unexpectedly I'd invented a time
-Alan Moore
(It's actually really clever! If you think about it)
We kissed. She melted. Mop please!
-James Patrick Kelly
It's behind you! Hurry before it
-Rockne S. O'Bannon
I'm dead. I've missed you. Kiss ... ?
-Neil Gaiman
(Just think about this one ... it's also quite clever)
The baby's blood type? Human, mostly.
-Orson Scott Card
(It's ALIEN????? You don't want that - just watch one of the Alien movies, trust me)
I couldn't believe she'd shoot me.
-Howard Chaykin
(You better believe it :P)
Easy. Just touch the match to
-Ursula K. le Guin
(Now this one's good!!!!!)
Tick tock tick tock tick tick
-Neal Stephenson
Smoke alarm. Bonus snooze button included.
(That's one bonus I might actually pass on!!!!!)
Bush told the truth. Hell froze over.
-William Gibson
Bang postponed. Not Big enough. Reboot.
-David Brin
Eyeballed me, killed him. Slight exaggeration.
-Irvine Welsh
"Oh that? It's nothing. Not contagious."
-Ugusten Burroughs
(Obviously someone and the beginning of swine flu, lol)

And I think this poem is hilarious, so here we are:
The Price of Debauchery (Roald Dahl)
My mother said, "There are no joys
In ever kissing silly boys.
Just one small kiss and one small squeeze
Can land you with some foul disease."

"But Mum, d'you mean from just a kiss?"

"You know quite well my meaning, miss."

Last week when coming home from school
I clean forgot Mum's golden rule.
I let Tom Young, that handsome louse,
Steal one small kiss behind my house.

Oh, woe is me! I've paid the price!
I should have listened to advice.
My mum was right one hundredfold!
I've caught Tom's horrid runny cold!

Enjoy. I put a lot of work into rounding and typing all that up (I didn't want to use copy/paste for some reason).

Oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY ... for yesterday XD
You know who you are =]


Laura said...

Those six words stories are funny. :)
I lol'd.

Sonja said...

I know, eh?