Thursday, December 4, 2008

School stuff

This concerns the schoolies. Cos it involves the schoolies, and no-one else seems care about my rants about school stuff anyway.

SO ...

I don't know if I even want to say anything. Cos too many people can just come onto this blog and find out all about whatever ...

OK ...

Well this whole friend-on-friend thing is really getting to me. It's getting to everyone. I'm sick of the people who are being so two-faced. I'm sick of watching K and R and C cry. I'm sick of feeling so damn bad cos of everything going on without looking like it'll ever end, and there's nothing that can be done about it. I'm sick of feeling like I'm gonna cry one minute, then feeling nothing the next cos it's just been buried somewhere where I can't find it. I'm sick of feeling so damn bad one minute then the next laughing hysterically at nothing. I'm sick of all this fighting and backstabbing. I'm sick of everything. I want things to be how they used to be, but feel stupid for wanting that because it's past and sentimental. I'm sick of so much more, but can't find the words to say them, and I don't want to face saying them.

I don't want to admit it to ... anyone ... , but maybe I do need these sessions with the psychologist. In fact maybe I've needed them all along. But it's so hard for me to talk about my problems, cos that goes against 1) how I am 2) how I deal with the bad stuff.

I don't want anyone changing their opinions about me just cos maybe I have problems. I'm the same person. I'm just trying to deal with something that's come up.

Well ... with all that out ... maybe I feel worse. I don't know now. I guess I'll have to wait and see.
But it's kinda ... idk ... embarrassing ... I don't do this sorta thing.


Miss Girl said...

R u depressed?

And with the wanting to cry one minute then laughing the next? Welcome to the mood swings of teenagerhood.

And im soz 4 bursting into tears every 5mins but it might keep going on 4 some time judging by how I feel at the moment about this whole thing-

- guilty
- jealous
- miserable
- missing Katie
- miserable
- missing Katie
- worried
- guilty
- did i say miserable?

anyway, u know me. im usually stronger than this. im gonna try and be like that again.

Laura said...

Sometimes I have bad days and I just want to burst into tears every 5 mins.

Reasons for doing so:
-My pen ran out in an English SAC so I had to do it in pencil.
-I lost the Jack Heath Fanfic Competition in August. (I was so depressed about that)
-Loathing Lola wasn't in the bookshop in Chadstone. =[
-And many other stuff. ^_^

Sonja said...

R, I really don't know if I'm depressed or not ... I guess that's why I'm seeing the psychologist.
Actually I don't even know why I'm seeing her - Dad just said to me one day on the way to soccer, that he and Mrs McIntyre thought it'd be best if I saw a psychologist.
And now the stupid doctor at the diabetes clinic thinks I should see a psychiatrist as well cos my diabetes has just gone wild, APPARENTLY ...
I really don't think this is all necessary. And even if it IS, what good is it doing me at the moment - none, just taking an hour out of my Saturdays!