This concerns the schoolies. Cos it involves the schoolies, and no-one else seems care about my rants about school stuff anyway.
I don't know if I even want to say anything. Cos too many people can just come onto this blog and find out all about whatever ...
Well this whole friend-on-friend thing is really getting to me. It's getting to everyone. I'm sick of the people who are being so two-faced. I'm sick of watching K and R and C cry. I'm sick of feeling so damn bad cos of everything going on without looking like it'll ever end, and there's nothing that can be done about it. I'm sick of feeling like I'm gonna cry one minute, then feeling nothing the next cos it's just been buried somewhere where I can't find it. I'm sick of feeling so damn bad one minute then the next laughing hysterically at nothing. I'm sick of all this fighting and backstabbing. I'm sick of everything. I want things to be how they used to be, but feel stupid for wanting that because it's past and sentimental. I'm sick of so much more, but can't find the words to say them, and I don't want to face saying them.
I don't want to admit it to ... anyone ... , but maybe I do need these sessions with the psychologist. In fact maybe I've needed them all along. But it's so hard for me to talk about my problems, cos that goes against 1) how I am 2) how I deal with the bad stuff.
I don't want anyone changing their opinions about me just cos maybe I have problems. I'm the same person. I'm just trying to deal with something that's come up.
Well ... with all that out ... maybe I feel worse. I don't know now. I guess I'll have to wait and see.
But it's kinda ... idk ... embarrassing ... I don't do this sorta thing.