Wednesday, December 10, 2008

And the list goes on ...

Things are strange at the moment. Ecstatic that the group is back together. Sad at the sheer amount of cracks that have been left by the break. Trying to ignore the fact that my mother has gone all depressed cos of uni being over and being stuck in a chair most of the time cos of the surgery. Trying to ignore the fact that my dad has gone weird - jumping down my throat most of the time but being so nice at others. Angry at myself and teachers for the assignments I couldn't hand in (about three) cos a teacher I gave my USB to which had an assignment for her subject lost it. Angry at myself for letting my feelings take control of me, and having no control over them. Confused cos of major mood swings and lack of mood. Confused at feeling so tired all the time, when I've hardly ever been tired at all, my whole life. And the list goes on ...
I guess I'll just go back to being so damn sentimental and shallow and wish for the past, when things weren't so painful, confusing, vivid ...
I guess that the greater the suffering, the better you feel after it. But why does it have to be so costly?
That's all I've time for tonight. I want to look at a DVD before I drop dead (yuk, bad choice of words ... ) of exhaustion.

2 comments:

Aidan said...

My gosh. I'm in a similar spot. I have no one to talk to anymore. But that's supposed to be okay. Gah. Oh well. What can you do?

Sonja said...

Sorry about that Aidan, it's sucks, hey?