Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Next Year is Tomorrow - hey that's catchy! Nice ring to it!

Mutant Song Lyrics
With MY NAME replacing the sertain words:
"It's close to midnight and something evil's lurking in the Sonja." (So true)
"I was looking for a Sonja, and then I found a Sonja and heaven knows I'm miserable now." (Again, so true)
"Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw Sonja back to you."
"Yesterday, all my Sonja seemed so far away."
"And the whole world has to answer right now just to tell you once again who's Sonja."
"I'm picking up good vibrations, she's giving me Sonja."
"Oh, I heard it through the Sonja."
"I kissed a Sonja and I liked it." (lol - not. EWWWWWWWWWNODAMNWAY. Yes I know I'm childish. Get used to it)
"I can call you when I need you, my Sonja's on fire." (LOL!)
"If you wanna be my lover, you gota get with my Sonja." (NO)
"Here in my Sonja, I feel safest of all." (I highly doubt that ... )
"All you need is Sonja Sonja, Sonja is all you need." (koff koff)
"My Sonja brings all the boys to the yard and they're like it's better than yours."
"I see friends shaking Sonja saying how do you do, they're really saying I love you." (Ummmm, THAT DOESN'T MAKE UP FOR SHAKING ME!)
And last, but not least, and definitely saddest:
"Who needs a Sonja when a Sonja can be broken?"
WOW this is MAD FUN!
"And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large quack." (OMIGOSH I cannot stop rofling at this one! Teach me not to be so obsessed with the word 'quack'!)

Awwwww no more time! Damn. Oh well *major grumbling*
See yas all next year!

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Jellybean Drifter

Christmas was Ok. And I actually got the one thing I wanted for Christmas, a camera. So I was happy there. But still, not the best of Christmases.

Oh my gosh, I was so totally spacing when I went out with Dad to do the grocery shopping today. I went straight past Mit without even seeing him. I walked into a couple of stalls. Etc. I really gotta learn to keep my awareness levels in good shape for when I'm out in public. Lol.
But damn, is it annoying.

I'm pretty mad at the moment cos of what happened when Katie called Dylan, and she could hear Dylan's father ... Seriously, he's not helping things. And things are bad enough at the moment, even though some things are healing up.

I'm really stressing about classes for next year at the moment. Mrs G, one of our year advisors, was totally adamant in not letting us know what classes we're in, and she wouldn't let our other year advisor either.. She totally frustrates me. Like she said some total lies about me to my parents, she can be vicious sometimes, and she lost my USB stick when I desperately needed it ... but she's a good teacher and at least appears to be a nice person at most times. WTH??!! I hate that type of person! Cos you totally can't understand them! And you don't know what opinion to have of them - the good or the bad - cos they totally contradict themselves!
Gosh I am REALLY stressing about classes ...

Anyway, I started reading an ok book earlier. And I've taken some photos with my camera. Yeah it hurt my hand. But it was worth it. And I managed to take most with just my left hand anyway.
I'll put some photos I've taken on here later. Don't have the patience atm.

Going now. Bye.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Christmas in a matter of minutes, pretty much

Yes, I know I'm up late. I do that. A lot. I don't think my body clock is right. But I need to kick it into whatever is right, cos next year I have to wake up early. I have before school stuff next year.

I just spent the past half hour watching Spiderbait video clips :) The one for Outta My Head was pretty cool, as was the one for Monty.
NO. Outta My Head is NOT like the Ashlee Simpson one. Spiderbait is way to awesome for that.
And now I am determined to find Happyland's version of Tintarella Di Luna, cos that song is funny and the Happyland version is best.

Hmmmmmm ... I'm still not convinced tomorrow is Christmas Day. But I guess it is. With all the carparks by shops full, I guess it is. With everyone singing Christmas carols I guess it is. With everyone asking me whether I'm looking forward to tomorrow, and as there's nothing else I can think of they may be mentioning, I guess it is. With Mum and Dad going on about my presents, I guess it is.
Still, it doesn't feel like Christmas. And I can't think of why.

Christmas started off as a pagan festival, apparently. Then when people started celebrating Christ's birth they decided to celebrate it at the same time as the festival. So I betcha that screwed things up for both sides.
And these days, what is Christmas? An opportunity. To make money. And lose money. An excuse to go wild. And so on.
There's nothing sacred about Christmas nowadays, is there? Unlike the days of the pagan festival. And later, the celebration of Christ's birth. Cos both of those would have been VERY MUCH sacred.
Yet these days ...

Don't worry about me spouting stuff. It's the middle of the night. What would you expect?

ARGH. I'm annoyed. Earlier in the year, just after Annie's dad and brother came down for a bit, Dad said I may be able to go up to Brisbane. But now ... cos Mum's objecting ...
Geez, she's so overprotective.

Anyways, night.

No. It CAN'T be Christmas Eve

Ok, I'll tell you why life is like a drama / soap opera.
First of all there was all that fighting etc. Not just at school - I got really annoyed at some people from my youth group. Then last night, we had a youth group activity by the beach. And at the end of it, it was dusk - you know, dark and getting into night, but there was still some light. The guys were, as guys do, wrestling each other and showing off. The girls were all around talking and laughing at the guys' antics. And the music in the background was that stupid Jason Mraz (or whoever he is) song. No fighting whatsoever ...
See? Picture perfect copy of the ending of one of those stupid dramas / soap operas. So scary!
But only Mado and me seemed to think it was funny. Some people have no sense of humour.

Is it seriously Christmas Eve?
Cos it sure doesn't feel like it.

SHUT UP KAT (talking to my sister)
My sisters are very annoying.

Wow. I don't know how I'd survive without my friends. :)
They are SPARKY, and always there if help is needed.
[End sentimental babbling]

Ok I'm just droning on. So dull at the moment.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Interesting day

Interesting day today.
First, I manage to email someone about something I never thought I could. And then the reply was really helpful, blew my socks off with shock, and sent me practically bawling.
I found out how affected my almost always Little Miss Sunshine cousin is, cos she is starting high school next year and won't see most of her friends again.
I found out how much life really IS like a drama / soap opera. I'll tell you why when I get the time.
And then I find out some news which could be great or horrid news, depending which way I look at it.
Yes, a VERY interesting day today.

Gosh, it doesn't feel anything LIKE almost Christmas. I guess it doesn't help that Dad kept forgetting or didn't have the time to put the tree up until today, and then there's the fact I dunno if I'm looking forward to Christmas or not.
And Mum has been asking me if there was anything else I'd like for a present, cos she was thinking of adding stuff to mine. ARGH! I DON'T KNOW!
Well I do sorta. But somehow I doubt she'll put a camera in when she was looking for something SMALL.

Anyways, g2g, bai!

Monday, December 22, 2008

Eurovision <3333

Just reminding yas all to check out my other blog,, I put on my writing and art on it. So far only two proper posts tho.

STILL no idea what's with my hand. Except that it keeps getting worse, and that I think it's spreading.

I'm hating holidays atm. Can't see friends anywhere near as much. Plus, I'm not sure that I'm good company for myself. I get too introspective, and that just brings me down.
Oh well. I'll deal.

LOL. I got the CDs of 07 and 08 Eurovision today, from the library. AND THEY ARE SPARKY AS!!!!
Seriously they are!
Well most of it. LOL some of them are so funny, especially "Push the Buttons", which is Israel's entry in 07.
And I absolutely LOVE "Leave Me Alone", which is Finland's entry in 07. Finland hosted 07, too.
I wanna go to Europe. Europe is sparky. I especially wanna go to Poland, Russia, Finland, The Netherlands and Germany.
I TOTALLY gotta watch Eurovision next year. I'll get Dad to let me, cos he may wanna watch too.

Ok. Byes. Getting a little late. (Even though I'm not tired one bit ... )

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Twilight, Songs and Movies

I am totally and utterly SICK of anti-Twilighters bringing Stephenie Meyer being a Mormon into their anti-Twilight rants. One, I am a Mormon. Two, going against someone because of their religion is DESPICABLE, and in Australia it is AGAINST THE LAW.
So those anti-Twilighters out there, I don't care that you don't like Twilight. But if you bring religion into this ...

Is anyone watching Event Horizon? It's quite an interesting movie.
(It's on TV at the moment, Prime I think)

Hello, Evanescence
Playground school bell rings again
Rain clouds come to play again
Has no-one told you she's not breathing
I am your mind
Giving you someone to talk to
If I smile and don't believe
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream
Don't try to fix me
I'm not broken
I am the lie
Living for you so you can hide
Don't cry
Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping
I'm still here
All that's left of yesterday

Kristy, Are You Doing OK?, The Offspring
There's a moment in time
And it's stuck in my mind
Way back when we were just kids
Cos your eyes told a tale
Of an act of betrayal
I knew that somebody did
Oh wings of time seem to
Wash away the scenes of our crimes
For you this never ends
Can you stay strong?
Can you go on?
Kristy, are you doing ok?
A rose that won't bloom
Winter's kept you
Don't waste your whole life trying
To get back what was taken away
Though the marks on your dress
Had been neatly repressed
I knew that something was wrong
And I should've spoke out
And I'm so sorry now
I didn't know cos we were so young
Oh clouds of time seem to
Rain on innocence left behind
It never goes away
Can you stay strong?
Can you go on?
Kristy, are you doing ok?
A rose that won't bloom
Winter's kept you
Don't waste your whole life trying
To get back what was taken away

Cath ... , Death Cab For Cutie
She stands with a well intentioned man
But she can't relax with his hands on the small of her back
As the flashbulbs burst she holds a smile
Like someone would hold a crying child
Soon everybody will ask what became of you
Your heart was dying fast and you didn't know what to do
It seems that you live in someone else's dream
In a hand-me-down wedding dress
With the things that could have been are repressed
But you said your vows and you closed the door
On so many men who would have loved you more
Soon everybody will ask what became of you
Your heart was dying fast and you didn't know what to do
The whispers that it won't last roll up and down the pews
And if our hearts were dying that fast, they would have done the same as you
I'd have done the same as you

Just some songs that have stuck out to me in recent times.
The Offspring one is totally different to the style they used to have. They've mellowed up a bit :)
Actually there's another Offspring one that's stuck out:

(Can't Get My) Head Around You, The Offspring
Deep inside your soul there's a hole you don't wanna see
Every single day what you say makes no sense to me
Even though I try I can't get my head around you
Somewhere in the night there's a light in front of me
Heaven up above with a shove, I beg it's me
Even though I try I fall in the river of you
You've managed to bring me down too
All your faking (Get up,Get up,Get up, Get up)
Shows you're aching (Get up, Get up, Get up)
Every single day what you say makes no sense to me
Lettin' you inside isn't right, you'll mess with me
I'll never really know what's really going on inside you
I Can't get my head around you
All your feeling (Get up,Get up,Get up,Get up)
Shows you're breathing (Get up, Get up, Get up)
Deep inside your soul there's a hole you don't wanna see
Covering it up like a cut with the likes of me
You know I've really tried, I can't do any more about you
(Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah) The cut's getting deeper
(Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah) The hill's getting steeper.
I guess I'll never know what's really going on inside you
I can't get my head around you
I can't get my head around you
I can't get my head around you
I can't get my head around you

Anyways, that ends the song stuff tonight.

I'm off to watch a movie. Not tired. G'night.

My hand - an update - among other things

I went to the doctor about my hand today. Apparently it could be anything, like a chip fracture, arthritis, infection, etc ... so I went off to have an Xray. If nothing definitive came up on that then I'm to have a blood test. Well, guess what? Looks like I'll have to have yet ANOTHER blood test. You realise that makes about three in a month?
And what happens if they can't find out what's wrong with my hand? I'm scared.

It's too hard to be extremely mad with Mado for long, especially now she's shut up. But she was SERIOUSLY annoying me. And to think Kayto may bring it up again tomorrow ... If she does ...

I don't like the holidays too much. The company of my mind is too much to handle after a while, without proper distraction, cos it's always busy, always thinking, always processing ...

Christmas day: wake up, open presents with immediate family, go to grandparents for lunch and afternoon with cousins and aunts and uncles as well, then have dinner at my other grandparents. TOO busy if you ask me, trust me it is. It's been like this almost every year, and oh it is a busy day. Cos I have so many relatives on my dad's side ...

My hand hurts so much after being poked, prodded, twisted around, out of the bandage for an extended period of time (it's not out for more than five minutes, except it had to be out for AGES today for Xrays) and then my youngest sister decided that repeatedly bumping it was fun.

Anyway, I'll stop writing down my gloomy thoughts, cos no-one really wants to know about them, or at least that's the messages I've been given.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Last day of school gone

I'm still extremely angry at one of my best friends, and what's worse is that she's playing dumb to what's making me so mad. I'm still angry at the majority of my friends from school. And I'm am REALLY angry at my parents. They manage to ruin everything, and destroy all my dreams.
I'm not even sure why I'm so angry at pretty much everyone. There's no real reason. Then again, there's no real reason for me to feel so down all the time either. Life's full of deep dark murky mysteries.

Today was the last day of school for New South Waliens who attend public schools. The end of Year 8 for me. And what a mucked up year it was. But how good it was too.

IDK. I'm just so confused right now and I don't have the ability to write my thoughts down like I usually do.

Anyway, I'm starting up another blog, where I'll put my writing and artwork on, so youse can see it and critic it if you want.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ...
I keep forgetting it's nearly Christmas. I'll be doing the same thing I do each year, going to my grandparents' places. Thank goodness I don't live too far from them.


Thursday, December 18, 2008

Angry and hurt

I am REALLY angry at one of my best friends, and pretty angry at most of the rest. No-one knows when to shut up and stop, do they? And no-one seems to know when I'm in a bad mood. Isn't storming off explicit enough? Isn't constantly emailing "shut up" enough?
Honestly, youse all may think you're smart, getting into an academically selective high school and all, but you're not if you can't understand the most obvious of things.
And to think that some of you can't tell when to stop, when you know a fair bit about what's going on and I've made my wish clear to you, it really hurts me.

Just to update people on my hand, it gets worse each day. According to the doctor it should've been fine a couple of days ago. But doctors are never right, are they?

Bye for now.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Carbon Reductions Scheme

My mouth feels weird cos I just had some coleslaw before a drink of cordial/juice/gingerale mix. Ewwwwww. I'm not doing that again.

In Science today we were on computers with free time so I stuck my MP3 player in and played some songs. And no-one complained about them :) In fact they liked it. Which means I got good taste ;)
It was some Paramore, The Living End and Evanescence.

Oh oh oh oh today I found out I got a distinction in the University of NSW Maths test. TOTALLY did not expect that. So I'm happy. Except for the fact that my other friends didn't do so well, that I know of, and some of them have high-pressure parents :( Plus I consider them to be better than me in Maths.

Tomorrow we have the formal assembly. Yuk. Two whole periods of UTTER torture just watching people get presented with "prestigious" awards. Yuk.
I don't like awards systems anyway. I just don't agree with how these ones are set out. In my first primary school, a few people in each class were chosen for awards, if they did something "special" that week. That's the best award system I've ever seen. And even then it sucked.

I seriously need something to do, instead of just sitting around thinking. It's never done me any good in the end, doing that. But there's nothing else I really can do, except read, listen to muusic or beg Dad to let me out for a walk when he gets home, cos of my hand getting in the way of some other, much better options. And I'm plain sick of those options.

Yeah, I thought that Mute wouldn't be at school today. And he wasn't :"( Really been missing you Mute, if you ever see this!

What does everyone think of this new carbon emission reduction scheme? Too much or too little a target? Is it a good or bad way of going about "saving the world"? Etc
Me? I think the target is too small. At LEAST start on 15% and work up to 25%. But NO.
... Then again, I was always an eco freako.


Anyways, on that sad note, I shall say goodbye. Goodbye!

Monday, December 15, 2008

Mute is back!

Today was just one of those days that seems like a great day weatherwise, but you don't take any notice cos you're BORED OUTTA YOUR MIND. You also don't take any notice cos you don't really want to ...

Anyways, Mute is back at school! YAY! Missed him HEAPS.
But Katie wasn't at school. She's gone to Samoa. Lucky.

Hand still bad. But not so much at the moment. Thank heavens for that :)

Gotta go now, bye.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Stupid tendonitis

I can't use my right hand. Apparently I have tendonitis in it. Whatever it is, it hurts like hell. And whatever it is, because of it I CAN'T USE MY RIGHT HAND! So some of the easiest stuff is so difficult to do now, and I can't write AT ALL. :(

I was reading Finding Cassie Crazy earlier, the bit where Cass meets Matthew Dunlop in the reserve and he is so utterly vicious and leaves her in the rain. And then her two friends Em and Lyd come in to see her soaked to the bone and sobbing. Em and Lyd resolve to find Matthew Dunlop. They do. They are now deciding on revenge.
I cried when I read the bits about Cass in the reserve. I always do. But now it was sadder than ever, because before a couple of months ago I pretty much never saw any of my friends cry.
And now I have, way too often, and I know it is one of the most heart-breaking things ever. Especially if they are so strong that you'd never pin them to cry.
Anyway, Finding Cassie Crazy is a great book - hilarious, heart-breaking, intense, light-hearted, intriguing ...

Far out, I LOATHE my hand!

So anyway, I am damn annoyed at not being able to write. I so need to. But there's nothing to be done, is there?

Saturday, December 13, 2008

L.O.L - Little Old Lady!

Here's why I crack up every time I see or hear "lol":

Little old lady, lady, lady
All dressed in black, black, black
Is up to soemthing shady, shady, shady
Like stealing your crack, crack, crack

I wrote it ages ago.
So what do you think?

Friday, December 12, 2008

Writing deep and arguing shallow

A couple of days ago at school was the Year 7 vs Year 8 debate. And what a shallow topic it was.
Honestly. So damn shallow. And the sevvies (who were affirmative) had the stupidest arguments. Eg "I'd be more likely to talk to a beautiful person". Although ... they did get quite a BURN in - when negative (Year 8) said that brains could create artificial beauty, affirmative came back with "Cos they KNOW that beauty is better than brains". WHAT A BURN.
Year 8 won. YES! Else we could never had lived it down.

I reckon that my Maths teacher is a stalker. Cos now there are at least three people in my class that have seen her in weird places outside of school. Sydney MacDonald's, clarinet lesson and hospital ...

Here's a poem I wrote:


One feel and you’re taken
Once is enough
It won’t be forsaken

One taste and it won’t be forgotten
The memory won’t leave
It’s sweet, but rotten

One moment and you’re caught
It’s a master
That must be constantly fought

One more time
Means one more regret

It’s another personal crime
Another thing you want to forget

Obviously, about addiction. It'd be horrid, losing pretty much all free will to something.
I find heavier topics so much easier to write about. I don't know why. But if you ask me to write about something like true love or friendship or something, I'd get stuck for ages, and then what I wrote won't be to my usual standard.
Hence all the poetry about broken relationships, depression, addiction, etc. It doesn't mean I've gone through it all - hell no, not all of it - but that's where imagination comes in.
Actually earlier today I got told I had no imagination. But I find that person to be extremely annoying and such a try-hard / wannabe anyway, so it don't bother me so.

Ok, ok, here are some more poems ... some of you have been asking for them:

Once Upon A Time
Once upon a time.
Isn't that how fairytales begin?
That's how our tale began, anyway -
but as to whether this is a fairytale ...
let’s just say
it’s up for debate.
So much kinder that way,
instead of saying argument.
Because argument equals conflict.
And though even fairytales have this,
there’s also a happy ending.
But you can’t see this.
And that is why
there will be no happy ending,
no fairytale,
no us.

Just To Leave Me One More Time
Tonight, my pain will cease to exist
Cos you said you would come over
And that we’ll have dinner
Then go out a while
“The fresh air will be good for you
My pale little angel”
He knew I was hiding some great wound
I never thought he was setting me up for greater
You came over
But ate quickly
You took me to some abandoned park
And said words you swore you’d never say
Then turned about and left
With an air of elegance and nobility
That left me shocked
Since when was agony elegant and noble?
Tonight, my pain has just begun
Cos you said you’d come over
And you did
Just to leave me one more time

The latter one I won a book with ... Loathing Lola, by William Kostakis. It's a good book - read it if you ever get the chance to.
So, there's some of my poetry. Happy?

I finally heard Decode (Paramore) on the radio yesterday ... It oughta be played more though. Instead of all that crap music like Kings of Leon or Newton Faulkner or heaps of other people / bands that I've not heard the name of and definitely won't go outta my way to find out.

All right, I'm off to write more. I've been pretty slack writing-wise lately, even my handwriting's gone crap. However I've doen heapsa drawings, for Christmas cards. Lol they were so fun to do. I stayed well away from your stereotypical Christmas card and just did pretty rough but sparky drawings that rip off modern Christmas ideas (such as Santa).
OK! I'm going!

Thursday, December 11, 2008


Two of the people I'm really worrying about: Mit and Rhod.
Rhod's really been shook up by her and Katie's friendship slowly loosening.
And Mit ... you are so not like yourself sometimes. Like today. Something was wrong, and you finally admitted it to me, but you said it was a long story. By that, I thought that you didn't really want to talk, so I didn't try to pressure you. But I'm not so sure about my decision any more. Because I'm so damn worried about you.

Things are going crazy - actually they've been crazy a while - and it's just downright confusing me.
Sure I'm still enjoying life ... but there's also a lot more to feel sad and angry and confused about. So ...

Things were more simple earlier.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

And the list goes on ...

Things are strange at the moment. Ecstatic that the group is back together. Sad at the sheer amount of cracks that have been left by the break. Trying to ignore the fact that my mother has gone all depressed cos of uni being over and being stuck in a chair most of the time cos of the surgery. Trying to ignore the fact that my dad has gone weird - jumping down my throat most of the time but being so nice at others. Angry at myself and teachers for the assignments I couldn't hand in (about three) cos a teacher I gave my USB to which had an assignment for her subject lost it. Angry at myself for letting my feelings take control of me, and having no control over them. Confused cos of major mood swings and lack of mood. Confused at feeling so tired all the time, when I've hardly ever been tired at all, my whole life. And the list goes on ...
I guess I'll just go back to being so damn sentimental and shallow and wish for the past, when things weren't so painful, confusing, vivid ...
I guess that the greater the suffering, the better you feel after it. But why does it have to be so costly?
That's all I've time for tonight. I want to look at a DVD before I drop dead (yuk, bad choice of words ... ) of exhaustion.

Monday, December 8, 2008


Hey all

I'm at home, waiting for a doctor's appointment for an extension on a referral, then I'll be back at school. I worry when I'm not at school. Cos of how precarious things are at the moment.

I got some CD / DVD set of Paramore's 'The Final Riot' gig in Chicago on Saturday. Some of the songs sound even better live, like We Are Broken. I can't decide whether Emergency and Hallelujah are better live or not, cos it's not too much different, but where it's different it's different in a good way. But it the recorded versions were also good ...
I want to watch the DVD, but I'm gonna have to wait ...
Doesn't life seem to be all about waiting?

My sister got a mobile on the weekend, and Mum and Dad got new ones. Of course, everyone's HAS to be better than mine, and everyone's HAS to have a camera ...
Oh well. At least no-one else has Rayman 3 on their phone, hehehe :)

On Sunday I went to the Central Coast to see my little cuz Keira. She's about a month or two old now, and is soooooooooooooooo cute. Pretty much the whole family on my Dad's side were there, so we had photos as well. :( Don't much like photos ... except when I'm taking them. But I don't get to take many ... :(
We stopped in at my Nan and Grandpa's for some painkillers and cos a hailstorm was brewing. My Mum had knee surgery a few weeks ago, and so her leg isn't in the best condition atm ...

Anyway, going to have recess and then go to my doctor's appointment ... Bye.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

A Mixed Day

I am just ...
Well, I was down in Sydney tonight, after school, with some friends and peoples who go to my church. And after we'd done whatev, we went to Macca's for dinner, as per usual (we do this every so often ... ). It was about 8:30 ... yeah late dinner. And I was sitting down eating mah burger (chicken bacon - is sparky) ... and someone calls my name. I look up and see ...
(dunh dunh DUNH!)
But think of it. 8:30pm, both of us well away from where we live ...
At least she didn't ask why I wasn't in class today. Cos then I would've had to have said, Oh I was in the hosptial having a diabetes checkup and a blood test and everything was damn horrible ...
But yeah, she was nice ...

I was in school for second half lunch and English. Bludge.
Everything seemed OK though ... I don't think there's any new happening for me to worry myself sick about ...

Uhuh. My checkup was damn horrid and I don't wanna talk about it. I just don't like hospitals, doctors, needles, blood tests, operating rooms (although I didn't see one today, THANK GOODNESS), etc ...
Sheesh. Why is it that all adults do that?

Ok. I'll just talk more about my Sydney trip.
I was in the car with my cousin / friend Madi, my uncle / Madi's dad, and two other girls. We had so much fun going down. Just talking randomly. And towards the end playing a game that mixed Spotto and Punchbuggy. A punchbuggy is worth 10 points, a spotto is worth one. Kayto won, with 2 punchbuggys and 2-4 spottos. I came second, about 17 spottos (lol). Mado third, one punchbuggy and a spotto. Rach last with one or two spottos.
Then on the way back Kayto wasnt in the car. She was staying down in Sydney. Mado, Rach and I talked heaps about Harry Potter and then got onto random things. We spent pretty much the entire trip back home in hysterics. I was usually the cause of them (either fortunately or unfortunately I cannot tell you ... ).
Anyway ... "Hey Dad, I'm on the freeway ... IN A SPUGGY!"
Yeah. Spuggy is my name for a yellow VW Beetle. Mix of Spotto and Buggy ...

Anyhow, gettin late, so shall go now ...


Thursday, December 4, 2008

School stuff

This concerns the schoolies. Cos it involves the schoolies, and no-one else seems care about my rants about school stuff anyway.

SO ...

I don't know if I even want to say anything. Cos too many people can just come onto this blog and find out all about whatever ...

OK ...

Well this whole friend-on-friend thing is really getting to me. It's getting to everyone. I'm sick of the people who are being so two-faced. I'm sick of watching K and R and C cry. I'm sick of feeling so damn bad cos of everything going on without looking like it'll ever end, and there's nothing that can be done about it. I'm sick of feeling like I'm gonna cry one minute, then feeling nothing the next cos it's just been buried somewhere where I can't find it. I'm sick of feeling so damn bad one minute then the next laughing hysterically at nothing. I'm sick of all this fighting and backstabbing. I'm sick of everything. I want things to be how they used to be, but feel stupid for wanting that because it's past and sentimental. I'm sick of so much more, but can't find the words to say them, and I don't want to face saying them.

I don't want to admit it to ... anyone ... , but maybe I do need these sessions with the psychologist. In fact maybe I've needed them all along. But it's so hard for me to talk about my problems, cos that goes against 1) how I am 2) how I deal with the bad stuff.

I don't want anyone changing their opinions about me just cos maybe I have problems. I'm the same person. I'm just trying to deal with something that's come up.

Well ... with all that out ... maybe I feel worse. I don't know now. I guess I'll have to wait and see.
But it's kinda ... idk ... embarrassing ... I don't do this sorta thing.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Stuff titles!

*incomprehensible muttering*
Pretty much what I'm doing in my head atm. Yeah strange. Get used to it. :)

Seriously though, I'm so emotioned out. Cos of all the fighting in my group of friends at school recently. And today, we were given back our maths yearly results and everyone's (well ... pretty much everyone's :( ) were totally horrid.
And then SOMEONE decides to take their bitterness over a bad mark (which pretty much everyone got) on someone ELSE ... and that someone else had their birthday today.
Gosh she and another person 'someone' scared cos of their mood was in tears. And I'm not taking it out on you or taking K&Rs side, it's just that you need to learn a bit more control.

OK, I'll stop writing such depressing stuff cos I know no-one wants to hear it. I just lyk venting.

So ... Saturday Odog had a gingerbread making party, and it was sparky as! So much fun! Lessee ... Rhoddie, Lilah, Jodie, Brad, Mute, Puzzle and Nutmeg came along. Brad's gingerbread house was the best - JELLY BABY HELL!
Omigosh, Odog's dog is so cute :) Mute found his new best friend :)
And Puzzle learned to like Skippy too :)

Saturday was also my dad's birthday ... Mum and I had bought him two of the Bourne movies foe his bday a while ago, and Mum found the most hilarious place to hide them :) But I can't tell you. His Christmas present is there too and I know for a fact Dad checks my blog and devART at times ... :(

I've got the first two periods of tomorrow off - vocal stuff. Going over some carols and singing the school song for the 09 sevvies.
Yessssssssss, outta Geography and English, hehehehe ...